and thats the game

i can only think about one person and i dont want to. it really sux cuz i want that person to fall off the face off the earth i wish that things were different sometimes but hey what can you do when its a crazy bitch your tying to deal with. so that is that and it is what it is. oh and adam you fuckin rock my world and im coming to kansas instead of cali when i get home fuckin right doggie so you better fuckin see me. and laura .....fuck you

what a loss

i dont want to write this do to the whole giving space issue but if some ones reading this then they must not know what you want. i now know what i want, its gona be hard to get to it but i have nothing but time to get over this small insignificant stumble. i want to wake up in the morning with a woman that can actually touch me, kiss me and hold me. have a real relationship that actualy will have a chance because both people want it to work. i want to get in my car drive to work and know that she supports what (large space)    ever  i deside weither it be military for 20 years or start my own little happy life. that is what i want and that was always what i needed. a real relationship shouldnt be so hard that some one gives up after the first quater, im glad i can learn from my mistakes and make it to where it will never happen again               

0 for 1

so some one did read the last one im surprized. luara what are you doing why cant you leave it be. you and me just make sence why is it so hard. if i can do it on my own with no support in a hostle coutry tthen why cant you see what im willing to do for you.  guess this is my final declaration of my love for you. after this im done. youve made it vurtualy impossible for anything to go futher. i saddens me to know im not going to be coming home to you. and you know as well as i do no matter what i say we cant be friends because i wouldnt be abl to bear it. i guess your just the one i let get away.....well you led the way out for your self i never let go. oh well if thats how it ends with me in iraq with no way to defend myself then so be it. hope you find what your looking for because obviously i never was what you were looking for. i tried and failed i sould have saw it coming i can never win in this life time. well on to greater and better things

no more i love yous, i promised my self that

josh

something no one will read

i have finally found the greatest pain one person can go through and yes its one of those obvious things. losing the one person you love. i mean why would some one who says they love you drop you like a fuckin rock or something. thats not love that gives ression to never trust that person with your heart again. now i know what ever does happen with this so called relationshit its never going to be reall because of that betrayal. now im not saying shes the only one to blame i mean i am the one that left her but to go behined my back and get with another guy thats pretty fucked up to me. how does some one change their mind in like 5 days on something thats been going for like a year and a half. i just dont get it . but then i remind myself that shes to young to understand whats happening she says shes just a kid. and that i do believe because children dont care what will happen to anyone but them selves. and this is what scares the shit out of me. because i dont want to love this girl but then i cant even picture myself without her. i realize that this point in my life is when i need her the most and shes not even willing to fight for something that was so beautiful. she cant even say i love you without me initiating it anymore it really does feel like she never cared about me sometimes i wish i never met her but when i actualy think about it she has brought the most happieness into my life then anyone ever has and for that i thank her ..... wow i feel so much better now

you know what i hate fuckin ignorant people it really pisses me off some times because the dont even know what they are talking about like the US im in the NAVY so my opinion is a little one sided but then so are the fucking demos and libs god damn they just cant except that its human nature to fuck with things like in LS the fuckin serria club is trying to stop the oil drilling of the coast but what they dont know is that the state needs to do it because of the hurrican plus they dont bitch about land drilling in cali or anything like that sometimes i wish that before people talked they go though inspections on the thought that they are trying to talk about that would be great and if your reading this and you dont approve i really dont care oh and to my boy adam im still tryin to come home  

                     fuckin democrats